Hope in New Beginnings
by ber1719
Summary: So, he kept trying to live his dream and hoped against hope that just maybe, someday, he would see her bright eyes smiling up at him from a front row seat.


"**Hope in New Beginnings"**

**A Glee One-Shot**

Jesse St. James stared in awe at the girl who had stolen his heart nearly three years ago. Her chocolate-brown tresses cascaded from the crown of her head, glinting softly in the glow of the spotlight. Her eyes sparkled with emotion, tears gathered in her eyes as she poured her heart and soul into a song that, even if she didn't consciously realize it, summed up their relationship perfectly. Most importantly, Jesse was captivated by her voice. He'd always known that she was something special, but seeing her on that stage singing _that _song...

Well he couldn't imagine her doing anything else. She'd been born to be a star.

And more than anything, he wanted her to succeed. So, long after Rachel Berry had been handed her well-deserved first place Nationals trophy, Jesse St. James rushed outside to catch Madame Tibideaux. He knew that his opinion probably wasn't worth what it had been in the past, but he couldn't sit idly by while the love of his life watched her dreams crumble at her feet.

He had to do something even if he received nothing in turn for his efforts. And who knew? Maybe secretly helping Rachel would help him in finally pursuing his own dreams.

He did eventually reach Broadway. It took him three years and five months, but he finally saved up enough money to tide him over for a while in New York while he searched for odd acting jobs.

At first it was hard. No one wanted to risk their money on a man who had basically dropped off the map after winning four consecutive Nationals Championships. No one wanted a loser at the helm of their production.

A miracle occurred one sunny day when he was at the right audition at the right time. The director, obviously intrigued by his looks and his song choice, hired him on the spot as the understudy to the male lead in an Off-Broadway musical. He hadn't cared that he was a college drop-out. He hadn't cared that Jesse St. James was all but washed-up. While he had been hoping to snag the lead outright, its still more than he'd ever hoped for. He never forgets the man who gave him his future back.

Six months later, they opened the show to critical acclaim. Some of it negative, but most of it positive. Of course Jesse was thrilled when he was asked to step in for the male lead on the second night. He managed to sell out the next week and a week later, the same director who made his dream come true, fired the other guy and hired Jesse as the male lead for the next six weeks.

It was the start of big things for him and he wasn't completely surprised when the director hired him to take the helm in another Off-Broadway production a few days after his last show.

His stomach tightened in anticipation. He'd told Rachel once that he never got nervous. That was not the case anymore. Every single time he stepped out on the stage to perform a new show for the first time, he got sick with worry. Not because he thought he would fail. Not because he believed the show would tank.

No, he got nervous because he was deathly afraid of the possibility that _she_ could be watching him from the audience.

Sometimes he hated the affect that she still had over him. Sometimes, the drama queen within him would relish in the heart-wrenching pain that she still caused him. Mostly he just missed her. Missed her with every fiber of his being.

It had been a year since he'd finally made his way to New York. Four and a half years since he'd last seen her. He knew that she was probably married to Finn by now, their first child a very near possibility, but he couldn't help the way he felt. She had always been and would always be the girl who had stolen his heart. There would never be another Rachel Berry. There would never be anyone who could hold a candle to her in his eyes.

Surprisingly, he was okay with that. Women, gorgeous women, who were successful and wonderful, made passes at him all the time. He turned every one of them down. It was better to have loved and lost than to have never loved at all. If he couldn't have Rachel, he would have no one. He knew that he'd screwed up with her. And if he had to live with that guilt every day of his life, then such was his lot.

So, he kept trying to live his dream and hoped against hope that just maybe, someday, he would see her bright eyes smiling up at him from a front row seat. Because even more terrifying than waiting to see her face was the realization that he probably never would.

When he finally sees her again, it comes as a huge shock. One day he is only haunted by his memory of her. And the next day, her face is plastered on the front page of the newspaper lying right outside his door.

"Rachel Berry, Tragedy Amidst Triumph." Jesse reads the headline aloud to himself. His heart stops for a breathless moment before it starts racing in his chest. His eyes shoot downwards to take in the sight of her beautiful face. She is just as he remembers and yet she's completely different. She looks stronger somehow, as if the years they have spent apart have made her harder and less like the emotional school girl he'd once known. She's still just as beautiful and it hurts to look at her. Of course, it's even harder to turn away from her face now that he's seen it.

Quickly, he shuffles back into his apartment and skims the article.

"Rachel Berry and long-time fiancee, Finn Hudson, apparently split up last night. The news comes right on the wake of Miss Berry's recent graduation from NYADA. She graduated at the top of her class and is poised to take Broadway by storm in a musical that is being shrouded in mystery by award-winning director..." Jesse's voice trailed off into the silence of his apartment. His mind a world away.

He was thinking of her. Thinking of all that had never been. All that could be now that she had broken up with Finn Hudson. He wondered if it was too late for them. He wondered if he would ever get a second chance with the woman he was still in love with.

For whatever reason, Jesse never finds out the answer to his questions. It's been six years and even though he hears Rachel's name nearly every day, he hasn't yet had the chance to reconnect with her. She's been off taking Broadway by storm, as the article had predicted. She hasn't managed to get her break-out role yet, but he knew it was coming. She was brilliant in every thing she did. Whatever anyone said about Rachel, she was an intelligent girl and really knew how to pick her roles. Of course, he's been to every one of her shows, even if she doesn't know it.

As for him, he's been working non-stop. He is never long between production. Maybe a few days of rest and then he is off doing the next big thing. If he's honest, he still hasn't found his break-out role either. He knows it's close. He can taste it with every new project he takes on.

Being so busy provides him exactly the sort of distraction he needs from Rachel. He realizes now that his wish for them to be together was a fool's dream. The tabloids of New York City are filled with her face every few months. Every article discussing in minute detail who she was seeing and when she started seeing him. That was about as close to her as he managed to get.

He realized now that maybe his wish for them to be together again had only been a fool's dream. Just maybe they had never been meant to be.

It is a complete accident when Jesse bumps into her a few weeks later. Her arms are loaded with shopping bags as she makes her way back to her apartment from the grocery store on the corner. Her bright eyes meet his for the first time in years. And he thinks that he's never seen anything so beautiful.

He wonders if her heart is pounding as fast or as loud as his. He can't hear anything above the crescendo of drum beats in his chest. Until she starts to speak. Her pretty, pink lips form words that he has waited so long to hear.

"Hello, Jesse," she says and suddenly, its as if no time at all has passed. As if the past six years, they'd been together the whole time. He sees forgiveness and joy and hope in Rachel's eyes. He hopes that she sees something as awe-inspiring shining in his own.

"Rachel," is all he manages to choke out before he leans forward and takes most of her bags from her. She grins and shrugs her shoulder at him. His insides are alight with love and desire. It is all he can do not to toss the bags to the ground, take her face in his hands, and kiss the breath from her lips.

Instead, he just follows her as she continues the walk toward her apartment. It's not much but it is a start and Jesse can't wait to see where this hopeful beginning will take them this time.

**So not much in terms of doing this wonderful couple justice, but I hope that maybe it gives everyone a taste of what I could write for the St. Berry community. Watching the "Nationals" episode last week just got my muse and seeing how strongly Jesse still feels for Rachel...well of course I couldn't resist writing them something. **

**I know this fic jumps around a bit, but I am trying something a bit new for me. I hope it wasn't as disastrous as I believe it was. **

**Please review if you have the time! And tune in because I might be posting another St. Berry fic very soon!**


End file.
